When you just can't lift your head up one more time

Today was the last day of my year long adventure into "Grand Jury Duty".

Not just "Jury Duty" mind you.

No, I get "Grand Jury Duty".

Which was anything but grand.

If I had any preconceived notions that I lived in a safe, quiet county, forget it.

Shot that one down.

How about the goodness of mankind?

Ha! Let's try the depravity of mankind...that works better.

Drugs. Violence. Rape. Abuse. Murder.

Case after case...295 of them today. With all the sordid details included.

I wanted to weep. Wail. Lash out.

I. Can't. Do. This. Anymore.


I quit. I'm finished. Done with the human race.

This is supposed to be the Christmas season! Peace on earth. Goodwill towards men.

Not one brother slitting his brother's throat.

One husband beating his wife until she was hardly recognizable.

One family shattered by a drunken driver.

It's not a wonderful life.

My head hung lower and lower as the Sheriff droned on and on...my heart silently sobbing as hot tears threatened to overflow.

"Where are you, God? Why aren't You doing something?"

Then...three words. Not audible. Just a whisper in my soul...

"Cain and Abel."

Cain and Abel?

"The world has always been this way."

Broken. Shattered. Dark. Without hope. Then and now.

"And I did do something....

I gave."

"Because of and through the heart of tender mercy and 
loving kindness of our God, 

a Light from on high will dawn upon us and visit us,

 To shine upon and give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to direct and guide our feet in a straight line into the way of peace."

"In Him was Life, and the Life was the Light of men. 
And the Light shines on in the darkness, 
for the darkness has never overpowered it."

Never? Never. Ever. Not then. Not now.

This is the hope of Christmas.

The hope of a broken Grand Juror.

That because He gave His Son, we no longer walk in darkness.

And we have Life. Abundantly. No matter what's going on in this crazy world.

It's okay to weep. He does. Over all the Cains and Abels. Ahabs and Jezebels. Davids and Bathshebas. All who walk in darkness.

But the secret is, He didn't stop there.

He gave...His life. His love. His presence. So we could come Home to His heart of love.

Because He loved us too much to live without us.

And now it's our turn. We can't stop all the murders. Abuse. Drugging. Drinking.

But we can be His Light. His Love. His hands, and feet, and mouth to those who are stumbling in the darkness.

Who can't find their way Home.

What greater gift can we give this Christmas season than Hope?

Emmanuel. God with us.

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