Have you ever prayed something...or promised something...or declared something and later thought, What was I thinking???
You know, those moments of impulsivity when you are so touched...or deranged...that out it comes...
Oh, I'd LOVE to do that! Or...
No problem! Or...
Anything, Lord, anything!
Yeah, I have too.
I was thinking about that this morning as I was lying back on my Lazy Boy, watching the Cardinal pry open his sunflower seed breakfast...
Achy and oh so tired.
I love the reason that I am so tired...four days with the kids and grands. But I hate that my body betrays my heart.
You see, I have an auto-immune disease. It doesn't define me, but it sure does affect me.
I'm slowly learning to read my body...no longer running roughshod over what it's saying to achieve in a day whatever I deem is most important.
I'm slowly learning that what I think is necessary...and what God thinks is necessary...are often at odds with one another.
I see the piles of laundry and the unpacked boxes and the gardens that need to be restored after the hurricane and the upcoming meetings and this and that and this and that all looming larger than life...
And I sigh.
And then I feel the anger creeping in...anger that my body betrays me and forces me to rest and recover when I long to be getting things done...accomplishing my goals. So much to do and so little time!
You get the idea.
Anyway, I was reading this morning in Abba's Child about the parable of the farmer who, plowing his field, found a treasure of great price...so great, that he went and sold all that he had to buy the field. I love how Buechner tells stories...
So as I was lying there, watching said Cardinal, I was ruminating over the parable...What was the treasure in my life that was so great that I would be willing to sell all that I possessed to keep it?