Friday, January 27, 2017

Call the Attendant!

Blogs are born from days like these.

Be forewarned...any image you had of me wearing a halo will be shattered by the time you are done reading this!

And so the story begins...

It was the seventh stop of the day, with two more to go.

I was attempting to kill all my birds with one stone, and so far success was mine!

Thinking number seven would be a quick in and grab some medications from the pharmacy and some cheese from the Deli,

I parked the car easily in front of the store (which should have been a warning sign) and scurried in, only to be met with...

"Um, sorry Mrs. Tencza, I have a call in to the doctor's office for refills but they are not returning the call."

Say what? Seriously, this is the third time this has happened! 

It was then I knew Houston had a problem.

"Give me the Doctor's number and I'll give them a piece of my mind," I mindlessly declared.

Whoa, red light flashing....Warning...Warning.

Fumbling for my phone in my overcrowded purse, I hastily dialed the number, only to be met with a recording stating, "All parties are in a meeting and are not available. Your message will be transferred to a voice mailbox."

What the?

What doctor's office does not answer their phone? Suppose it was an emergency??

Determined that I had made a mistake and reached an unknown party, I tried again...pacing up and down the Burt's Bees aisle of the pharmacy...mind churning...eyes taking in all the fun things I could be buying instead of trying to reach these...

But again, the same message. 


It was then I heard the pounding of blood in my head...which is never, ever a good sign.
Okay, let's try this One. More. Time. 

But instead of hanging up and saving face, I left a message...basically stating that...

"I'm sorry, but what the heck is going on?? I NEED MY MEDS!"

Hanging up, I draped myself over the side of the pharmacy counter and looked the pharmacist straight in the eye and pronounced that I had given them hell and she should be hearing from the doctor's office any minute now.

As the pharmacist warily handed me 5 little pills to hold me over, I patted myself on the back and self-righteously stomped across to the store to the deli, for what should have been the simple act of buying cheese.

Now, sweet deli-girl that she was, evidently she couldn't tell low-salt cheese from the real thing and after slicing a pound and a half remembered that I did not ask for the low-salt stuff and proceeded to throw said bad cheese into the garbage pail, apologizing profusely for her stupidity.

Are you kidding?? You threw it away?? I would have taken it!!

Alright, let's try this one again. And she did...very, very, slowly.

It was at that point that I knew I was going to need an infusion of my favorite drug...Kumbucha while she sliced, I searched...2 bottles because one was definitely not going to be enough.

Back to the deli...cheese is almost

Finally! Victory! I'm outta here!

Alas, it was not to be...

I had time for one final fool-making the self-checkout.

As they say in High School Musical, "Will the carnage never cease?"

Why was I not surprised that after Every. Single. Swipe. on that infernal machine a message came up saying,,,

Call the Attendant. 

Every. Single, Time.

So, I did what any sane woman would do...

I started talking back to the machine. Loudly.

What do you mean, CALL THE ATTENDANT?? The item IS IN THE BAG!!

What is your problem??

And you know what the worst part was?

I didn't even know I was talking to it!

Not until the young woman on the machine next to mine stopped what she was doing and exclaimed,

"My, we are having an attitude today!"


I looked at her and replied, "Haven't you ever had one of those days?"

You know, the kind where you just had blood work done...your mom is in the ICU...your husband is on a heart monitor with a Cardiologist appointment're waiting on x-ray results to show why your husband has such bad pain in his hip, knee, and can't find your daughter's favorite cat...and you think it's time to find a job. That kind of day??

No, I didn't tell her all that...but I heard it screaming in my head.

And I sighed.

Out of the heart the mouth speaks...

And mine had said a mouthful.

Thanking the Attendant who had come to help me four times, I left the store and crawled home.

But it wasn't until this morning, after a good night of little sleep, that the irony of yesterday hit me...

"Call the Attendant."


Just like that poor guy in the store yesterday...available every time I needed him...

Jesus would be there for me...every single time...through all the craziness that is my life right now.

Oh, me of little faith! Was it only 3 days ago that the Lord had sat me down and encouraged me with these words?

Deuteronomy 31

It is the Lord Who goes before you!
He will march with you!
He will not fail you!
Or let you go!
Or forsake you!
Let there be no cowardice
Or flinching.
But fear not!
Neither become broken in spirit
And unnerved with alarm!

And Psalm 23

Goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life.

Which makes me think...and Lord knows I need to stop and do that more often these days...

If the Lord goes before me...marches with me...and goodness and mercy and unfailing love follow me...

What more do I need?

I am surrounded by God!

There's this hard-to-remember truth in the Bible that says when I am weak, He is strong.

I just don't always remember that when I am in crisis mode...or in everyday mode for that matter. 

I need to be reminded.

So, He sends me days like yesterday...

To remind me that I can't do this out-of-control journey of life by myself.

It would be insane and unnecessary.

And oh, so foolish.