When compromise seems the best way to get where you want to be

Yesterday I found out there is a new birding store opening nearby, and the call is out for a part-time Manager. If you know me at all, you know this makes my eyes light up and my feet start doing their clumsy, albeit joyful Happy Dance. Doing something I love and getting paid for it? I guess I could suffer through that!

So as the day progressed, I eagerly made time to sit down and read the fine print...what would be required, duties, etc. I was moving along at high speed, checking off each requirement with an I can do that! until I got to the one that stopped me short. The one that always stops me short. The one that has caused me to be passed over before: Must be available to work weekends. NOOOO!!!!

And thus began the mind game I play oh-so-well with myself and God. Gosh, I'm sure I'd win if He would just once not play with me!

Me: Well, that's interesting. I wonder if it means Saturday AND Sunday? 

God: That is the weekend.

Me: Well, maybe they mean after noon on Sunday. I mean really, we are in the South. And going to church is a given here. 

God: Does that make a difference?

Me: But. But. But. 

End of conversation. I'm sure He would have been willing to carry it further but I've had this conversation so many times that I already know how it will end. It all boils down to this one request He asked of me many, many years ago...

Honor Me by giving Me Sunday. Through it I will bless you and others. 

And you know, it wasn't hard back then! I was too busy raising a family to care about working on a Sunday. I gladly welcomed a day of rest...a day with God and family. Such a gift!

When did I stop seeing it as a gift?

The gift of not knowing

There are mornings when I wonder what I'm doing...when I've just spent hours working on a blog and I walk away and come back to reread it and all I see is blah-blah-blah.

And painfully I realize I should have pressed the delete button hours ago.

Who was that person that took over my body and brought such rambling and non-sensibleness into being? Surely not moi?

I should know by now that when it feels like the words are stuck...when it's an effort to birth a thought...that maybe the baby's not ready to be born yet.

Seriously, I need to print this out and tape it to my computer: Unless the Lord builds the house...or the blog...they labor in vain to build it. Amen?

Yeah. So. Let's try again. Let's start at the very beginning as the song says...

On January first to be exact.

Not measuring up? Boy, do I have good news for you!

It was a rough sleep last night...

A tossing and turning, rolling and moaning, smashing the pillow kind of night.

It's never a good idea to go to bed with an unresolved issue on your mind.

But I was too tired to deal with it so off to bed I went, taking comfort in the thought that a good night's sleep can often cure whatever ails you.

But as I said, it was not a good night's sleep.

And I did not feel cured as the sun slipped over the horizon, through the lace curtains, and into my bleary eyes.

So now I'm sitting here with my "Life is Beautiful, Capture Every Moment" mega-cup of coffee...

Finally thinking clearly and understanding what I should have taken the time last night to work through..

"By daily practicing our trust in Him, we will realize that whatever He calls us to do is always in our best interest, even if it seems difficult or miniscule by our own personal measuring tape." Ken Boa

Yup, that's what I read in my devotional this morning...in red, glowing, larger-than-life letters.

Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you, "Trust me, this will be good for you?"And it always was? Even if it did hurt a little?

Well, it seems like my Heavenly Father has that same belief system...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...or something like that.

You see, in a moment of unreserved passion, I volunteered to lead a study with the same group I had just done Truth Project with. (Yeah, I know, you're not supposed to end a sentence with "with" but right now that does not seem important.)

This Righteous Living series seemed a perfect follow-up to Truth Project...what to do with all the head knowledge we had just gained.

So this fool rushed in where angels dared not go and volunteered to lead it.

Leaning on a reed? Timber!

You know how in the Bible when something is said three times that it is very, very important?

That you need to pay attention or you are going to miss something you shouldn't?

Like Holy. Holy. Holy.

That means Holy. To the max. Holy inside out, through and through. Super important!

So I'm wondering if it works the same way when God smacks you in the face with the same truth three times in one week?

Is He trying to get your attention?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

I've been going through one of those times...you know, those times where you are slogging through a minefield rather than skipping through a daisy field?

Where you know you're heading somewhere because you are following that very tiny itsy-bitsy light in front of you...

But the process is so slow, and the terrain so unknown, that each baby step is an adventure in faith?

Now I have been trying my very best to be patient. With myself. And especially with God.

But sometimes it seems like nothing is changing.

So I can become a wee bit impatient...

Wanting to take things into my own hands to move things along. You know, help Him out a little.

Not good.

Not good at all.

So what is this "three-times-inflicted-lesson" that God smacked me with? (Don't blame God, I deserved it!)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; don't lean on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Prov. 3:5,6

Oh, I love that one! It's so easy to quote to others!

But when it comes to saying it to myself...HA!

So, the order of events...