So this is what a treasure looks like?

Have you ever prayed something...or promised something...or declared something and later thought, What was I thinking???

You know, those moments of impulsivity when you are so touched...or deranged...that out it comes...

Oh, I'd LOVE to do that! Or...

No problem! Or...

Anything, Lord, anything!

Yeah, I have too.

I was thinking about that this morning as I was lying back on my Lazy Boy, watching the Cardinal pry open his sunflower seed breakfast...

Achy and oh so tired.

I love the reason that I am so tired...four days with the kids and grands. But I hate that my body betrays my heart.

You see, I have an auto-immune disease. It doesn't define me, but it sure does affect me.

I'm slowly learning to read my body...no longer running roughshod over what it's saying to achieve in a day whatever I deem is most important.

I'm slowly learning that what I think is necessary...and what God thinks is necessary...are often at odds with one another.

I see the piles of laundry and the unpacked boxes and the gardens that need to be restored after the hurricane and the upcoming meetings and this and that and this and that all looming larger than life...

And I sigh.

And then I feel the anger creeping in...anger that my body betrays me and forces me to rest and recover when I long to be getting things done...accomplishing my goals. So much to do and so little time!

You get the idea.

Anyway, I was reading this morning in Abba's Child about the parable of the farmer who, plowing his field, found a treasure of great price...so great, that he went and sold all that he had to buy the field. I love how Buechner tells stories...

So as I was lying there, watching said Cardinal, I was ruminating over the parable...What was the treasure in my life that was so great that I would be willing to sell all that I possessed to keep it?


I have been walking with the Lord for almost 35 years now...well, most times dragged by the Lord.

And it was about 34.5 years ago that I was high on God...you know, that honeymoon stage when you first fall in love and offer yourself to your Beloved all that is within you?

Well, in one of those moments of heartfelt impulsivity, I prayed this...no, I had the audacity to make it my LIFE VERSE!!...

"That I may know You, and the power of Your resurrection and the fellowship of suffering with You."

Seriously? I'm sure I was running on heart and not brains at that moment.

Which was a very good thing....because God looks at the heart and accepts whatever gift comes from it.

It's kind of like when you're standing at the altar and promising all these things to your future spouse...things that sound so right...so good...so doable...

And then when the storms hit and your world is shaking and you wonder how you'll ever make it, you remember the promises you made to one another and you just hold on for dear life, believing that those promises have a sustaining power. Like that.

So that's what the Lord brought to mind this morning...that verse...except it sounded a mite bit different...

You want to know Me? The way you will know Me is by spending quiet time with Me...not when you are running and busy and preocuppied with the things of this world. 

You want to know My power? My Beloved, when you are weak, you are forced to draw your strength from Me...not your own abilities or talents...but Me. 

You want to suffer along with Me? In your stillness you will hear My heart...my heart that suffers for all Creation. Will you join Me in this?

Um. Yeah. Okay.

And as slow as I am in the morning, I got it...

Autoimmune disease is the answer to the prayer I offered all those years ago.

It's time to stop fighting it.

It's time to see this as a redeemed gift from God to me...

A God who knows me better than I know myself...

A God whose greatest desire is that I Do know Him...

That I Do know His  Power...

And that I Do suffer along with Him.

How about you, dear one? Is there something in your life that makes you chomp at the bit? Something that God has allowed into your life, but you wish would go out of your life?

We probably don't have the same Life Verse.

But we do have the same God.

A God who tenderly calls you His Beloved...who longs to be with you...

A God who desires to empower you to live for His honor and glory through whatever you are going through...

A God who yearns for you to know His heart so that you can be His Ambassador in this crazy, broken, fallen world.

Dear one, trust Him in the circumstances that He has allowed into your life. They are there for a purpose.

The farmer in the parable probably wasn't too happy when his plow jarred up against the buried treasure. All he could think of was how he had work to do...and no time for this...and it was one more thing he had to deal with in his already busy life.

Surprise!

Beloved, may you be surprised today by God also!

photo credit: rot ist die farbe der hoffnung <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/31160527@N02/23825785572">Treasure</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">(license)</a>